Monday

    New traditions are necessary when times change. Our lives are not in a constant state of decay, but rather I would like to think, a constant state of renewal. I think when we get complacent in set routines and the status quo we are setting ourselves up for great disappointment. As much as I have  come to abhor changes they are coming. Children are growing, parents are aging, and the world is transforming at a rapid rate. Information flies at us in real time twenty four hours a day. I believe that the constant state of daily change is what makes us hang to the things that we hope will never change.

   I still relish stability, but the one constant I am sure of is change. Most of it is minor and the vast majority of it rarely affects us in any big way. However, sometimes we cannot escape it and big change comes barreling on to the beach like a rogue waving grabbing things we held dear and snatching them away to the briny depths of time long ago. All we can do is stand on the beach staring at the carnage, gape mouthed and speechless. After a while we grab what remains and trek off home to make sense of what just happened. That is where I am stuck.

   I am back at home, or what is now my home rummaging through the remnants of the tsunami of change trying to make sense of everything. I am trying to piece together what is left and find my new role in the family that is left intact. I wasn’t ready for anything of this although I have long ago admitted I knew it was coming. I guess there is just some stuff you cannot prepare for, only deal with as it happens. I am struggling with that part because part of me just wants to lie down and curl into a fetal position and pretend nothing happened. The man in me wants to face it head on and fix it now! The human in me knows that I have to tread carefully and be mindful of every statement and decision I make.

   I am committed to success, I will not falter. I will continue to try as hard as possible to remember that it is just not me. My role in this is to be the pillar of stability and the source of strength. My current situation is only a minor blip in all that is going on around me and my family. I still have responsibilities as a man, son, and father, to others. I am committed to maintaining that source of strength and steadfastness. I will be strong, and I will continue to have hope as I start over, over 50.