One of the most important things I have discovered in trying to deal with change at a point in my life when change is not that welcome is that there are varying degrees of change. At my age, or at this age, change is a given. My body is changing now at an almost exponential rate, my children are growing faster than I would like, technology is changing rapidly, so change is occurring all around me all of the time. Most of these changes can pass me by with hardly a notice as they are the inevitable changes that we all face. Changes that I would not, or could not anticipate are the ones that are the most difficult.

   Unless we are affecting the change in our lives it generally comes as a huge surprise. I tend to cruise through life expecting people to remain in stasis and I am really surprised when they are the ones causing changes in my life. I have developed a habit of serious introspection now so that I can remain aware of the ebb and flow of the world around me. Some call it meditation, self examination, reflection, etc. For me it is a useful tool. Not that through this introspection I can stop the winds of change from blowing, but so that I am not caught so flatfooted when it happens.

   One constant in my life's changes are the actions of others. No matter how much we try to remain in control of our fate others have a hand in the direction our lives tend to go. Bosses can fire us, loved ones can leave, accidents happen and these are things that no one can predict. If there is one thing I have learned for certain it is that no matter how long I have known someone, no matter how close we are, they will do something that just makes you freeze in disbelief. I am learning to expect this lately and in learning that I have attained a sort of freedom that I never had before.

   I no longer get wrapped up in what others may think. Whether it is their opinion of me, politics, other people, or religion I am learning that I have no control over someone else's thoughts or feelings. Both of those things are the choice of the individual. They may choose to think like me for a time but that is transitory in nature and no matter what I or anyone else thinks we have no control over someone else's feelings. As hard as it is for me to realize there are people in this world that just do not like me and lest you be deceived there are those that feel the same towards you.

   I try to be liked, we all do. No matter what we may say we would prefer that others like us, find us affable,  of a good nature and decent, but the truth is no matter what we do we cannot make them see us as we see ourselves, or as we would hope they do. I choose not to be overly concerned about what others think. I try to live a good life and treat others decently, but being human I do not always hit the mark on that one. The only thing I can do is to let it go. That is the thing that makes me free. I can move on and not worry about what others think. All I can do is continue to try to be good and decent to everybody, recognize when I am not and make amends if possible and then move on. All we can do is keep trying and if others have a dim view of us then that is their burden and not ours. Liberate yourself from the opinions of others and seek the freedom of acceptance of who you are. I am celebrating my freedom today as I start over, over 50.