They say that change is the one true constant. Change seems to be the one thing we can guarantee will happen. No matter how hard we try to remain in stasis change surely comes to us all. Some change we can effect, and some change we can do nothing about. Most change is marked by the passage of time and if we look closely almost all change is somehow affected by the passage of time. One thing we know is that change will occur and the only power we have over it is how we react to it.

   When I was a school teacher managing classroom behavior was a daily challenge trying to get children to realize that someone else's actions are not a reason for them to behave in a certain way. This is a curse that follows us to adulthood. How many times have we heard someone respond when questioned as to why they did something that they had to to do what they did based on someone else's behavior? As humans we are ruled more often that not by emotion. It is these emotions, brought about by fear, that seem to cause us to behave irrationally and illogically in ways that harm us or others. We react without thinking, speak without hesitation, offer up ultimatums that cannot be met, conditions that are impossible to live under and reasons for behavior that are absurd.

   The only thing we can really change is ourselves. The younger we are the easier that change is to bring about. However, for some of us, me for instance, it takes many years to come to the conclusion that while others may have had a hand in our demise, or someone else is partially responsible for where we find ourselves, it is how we react, how we respond and what we choose to do that dictates how that change will affect us. We do not have to react out of fear with anger, we do not have to stand frozen in place with overwhelming depression, we do not have to be defined by what others do or say. It is said that we are in charge of our destiny, and while I may agree with that to a point, the present is the only thing we should deal with because that is what affects the future and it is the only thing we know for certain.

   Some people say change is a good thing and in some instances it is, while in other instances and to those affected by it that assertion certainly is arguable. I believe we cannot qualify change. We cannot possibly know for a long time, and in some cases we may never know, whether or not a particular change is either good or bad. We can only know that it is. Our reaction to it determines how it affects us. We cannot change others, we cannot change how they think, feel, and in most cases how they view something, we can only change ourselves.

   I used to tell students that while someone certainly may have wronged them, made a disparaging remark, or even caused them physical harm their reaction to it is not a requirement. As humans and undeveloped humans at that, this concept was hard for them to grasp. But in truth how we react is our responsibility. In any given situation our reaction dictates the movement forward of events and how we are affected. I have embarked on a mission to change and not to be a slave to the actions of others. I choose how I react and how something will change me.  Certainly others have the power to force some change in our lives but we can determine its direction. Take control of your life and how much others can change it. Do not be a slave to your fear and react in a way that fits a script laid out by someone else's agenda. Be yourself and be in charge of yourself as I am attempting to do as I start over, over 50.