I do not normally write in my blog on Saturdays for many reasons, well maybe not many, and maybe not any good reason, but today I am compelled to write. That is why I write anyway, because I am compelled to do it. There is no other reason and the only analogy I can come up with is that feeling of having to vomit, but you just resist knowing all the while you will feel better as soon as you do. That is my process. Thoughts come to me and stay in my brain until I put them down on paper, computer screen, or even give voice to them.

   I am compelled to write today because I feel I must. I have my children this weekend, and like every other time I have them it is a panacea of sorts that allows me the ability to get through a weekend that would otherwise be rather mundane. They are innocents and unabashed in their love for me and life in general. They see promise in every day and every thing we do. Each visit to them is new adventure of things to do, laughs, fights, friends, exploration and quiet time spent with each other doing nothing but enjoying our time together.

   Today will be spent at the pool. Late August is typically the hottest time of the year and this weekend is no exception. We will stay all day, eat, play in the water and generally do nothing. Simple times that I am sure they will remember fondly as will I and like me, at my age, they will look back on these times as some of the best they knew. I know I do as I remember the time when I was their age. Simpler times because our minds were unpolluted by the worries of everyday life. We did not require much to be happy, to be engaged and the safety and security of our parents love was all that we needed to allow our minds to run free with imagination and discovery.

   I will enjoy the day as they do. I will find happiness in the Sun and the heat and the cool relief of the water. I will let watermelon juice drip down my chin, I will eat without regard to the effects it has on my long term health, I will get a sunburn no matter how much sunscreen I apply and tonight when my head hits the pillow it will be with the sense of having done nothing but love my children and life. Nothing matters today but them and me. The time we spend today cannot be recovered once it has passed so we will not waste it. As adults not wasting time is something we claim to always be doing, but the reality is we are always wasting time worrying, working and fretting about things that we will not remember a week from now. 

   Today my job is to do nothing but be happy and love. Try it today, put down the list of chores. Erase the thoughts of the past week and the worry about the next. Pick up a book. Take the kids out for some fun. Lay in the sand and listen to the waves and wind and let your mind loose to run and jump through dreams and fantasies with no regard to their outcome or possibility. Do nothing but love yourself and life and that will be enough. Join me today in this worthy endeavor as I start over, over 50.