As I stated previously I write because I am compelled to write. It took me a while to understand it, but I get it now, so I write. This blog is full of memories, mostly from life's lessons that I have learned through the years. It helps me to keep perspective and balance and it seems to relieve some burning desire I have to let it all out. Today I am writing about something that has been in my head for some time screaming to be let out. It is memory of someone I knew many years ago that did not pass through sleep's dark and silent gate and emerge to face another day. He will never see another day and his passing makes me realize how grateful I must remain for everyday I have.

   His name was and I guess still is Russ Jordan. I met Russ in 1984 not long after I was out of the Air Force. I had been convinced by a good friend to go into the insurance business and signed on with a national company that Russ and my friend worked for. We had an office downtown in a larger city. The office was staffed with about four other agents. Russ was not from here but he had attended college at Ole Miss and settled here on the coast with his wife who was from Biloxi. It was great atmosphere as all of us were outgoing and gregarious, loved sports and all of us a great sense of humor.

   Russ was smart. He was smarter than I would have imagined after first meeting him and was a natural for the line of work he had chosen. He knew the business well and had an ability to meet people and make them feel as if they were immediately his friend. He was sincere in this ability and many was the time that we would run into one of his clients and they were treated as and treated him as close friends and more than client and insurance agent. Russ had a way of making everyone comfortable. Non-confrontational, friendly, quick with a laugh and even quicker to laugh at your jokes. Again there was nothing insincere about his behavior, he was genuine. Many was the time when as young adult men we would all be gathered at local restaurant, and bar and Russ seemed to spark all of the fun and leave segues for any one of us to make a wisecrack or a joke.

   Russ had a great wife that seemed to compliment his personality and eventually had two beautiful little girls. He seemed to me to be invincible. Not in a superhero kind of way, but a way that made you think he had life under control and would continue to be happy and here on this plane of existence. He was fearless, not in a Seal Team Six kind of way, but rather in a way that told you he never worried about tomorrow, or failure, or actually selling anything. He seemed to know that no matter what he would be fine, he would be successful and that everybody liked him, and they did. I have never, to this day, heard a negative remark about him. As fearless as he was he would not live forever.

   I don't quite remember the year he died. I saw the obituary in the paper. I had drifted out of the insurance business and away from the crowd we ran with. I was shocked, stunned and saddened. It seems that the universe has a way of taking those that seem so invincible. Those that seem like they have it all figured out. His death was sudden and unexpected and not long after he passed his two girls were killed in a horrible accident. I ran into his widow one day while out walking. She seemed happy and well and I often wonder how I would be able to handle the loss she experienced. But I know now. You see she and Russ were the same. She knows what may happen, will happen and could happen at any time, but chooses to live and be happy. Those were the two simple choices that Russ made. That is what he had figured out. All we needed to do was to breathe in, breathe out and be happy and grateful for that and nothing else would matter. Today and everyday I am going to try and live up to that simple standard. To breathe in and breathe out and be happy as I start over, over 50.