As the title of this blog suggests when I started it I am in the process of starting over. That process I have discovered is an ongoing work that really begins anew every day. It can begin at any time increment you choose, but I would imagine breaking the time down on a daily basis is the easiest to deal with. Humans break there lives down into time segments to better organize things, or to signify the ending and beginning of things. One of things I have discovered and shared is not hanging on to the past. It is a common theme in my writing and one that I will revisit fairly often.

   While we are always cautioned to let go of the past the one thing we must be mindful of is not forgetting it. We must remember the past, our mistakes, our failures, our victories and our triumphs over adversity. The past must be remembered because as humans we always make mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn new things and reinforce lessons already learned. We cannot be afraid of failure and cannot be afraid of making mistakes. However, we must be mindful of our past mistakes so that they are not repeated. So the past holds a place of purpose in our journey and we must examine it and learn from it, but not be mired in it.

   So what can we do about the past and the mistakes we made or the wrongs we perceive that others have done to us? As far as the wrongs done to us by others there is not much we can do. Being angry is a waste of time and sitting around lamenting what has been done by others and waiting for them to fix it is giving power to someone that neither earned nor deserves it. The only thing we have control over is ourselves and the only thing we can change is us. Many self-help groups and books talk endlessly about the necessity of making amends as an essential piece of the self improvement puzzle. The only problem with this is that by the time we realize we need to make amends it may be too late or even more revealing is that the person we need to make amends to either is no longer interested in it or may not even realize you think you may have done them wrong.

   I sometimes think that making a list of those we need to make amends to is the epitome of hubris. We assume that we had such an effect on someone that they require our acknowledgment of it and need that pound of flesh from us. Truth be told most people are rarely thinking of us. Most people are like us in that they are wrapped up securely in their own lives and problems that ours are just not evident to them. How many times has someone taken their own life only to have those around them exclaim, "I had no idea that they were hurting that much!" We must be mindful of our place in the lives of others.

   That being said we must always be mindful of ourselves and our own behavior. When we wrong someone we need to own it, admit it and be contrite about it, make whatever amends we can and move on. If we strive to always be kind, to realize that we can, with our words and actions, hurt another and then try to make amends we will have less to think about. I am going to endeavor to be kind in words, thought and action. I can no longer afford to be anything else. I have enough baggage I am carrying from my past. I do not need to add to my load. So today and everyday join me in making a solid effort to be kind. Be someone slow to anger and quick to forgive. Make an attempt to keep your mouth closed and your heart open and when faced with the choice of being right or being kind, choose kind, I am going to try to do all of this as I start over, over 50.