I promised myself a few weeks ago that I would be disciplined about writing this blog. I promised myself I would stick to it no matter what and that I would be relevant, I also promised that in being disciplined I would stick to certain topics on certain days thereby forcing myself to explore some of the more mundane subjects and make them interesting. Wednesdays, I told myself, would be reserved for book, movie, song, or venue reviews. Giving myself and whoever reads this some insight into some of things I find interesting. Today will be somewhat different. I will do a review, but along with the promise of sticking to certain topics I also promised myself I would be honest. So forgive me if you find this tiresome, trite, or another trip down the road of self immolation by other means than fire, if that makes sense.

   There is a band I came across back in the late 1980s called Concrete Blonde. They have been around since about 1985, but I think they really caught my attention in 1990 with the release of their critically acclaimed album titled Bloodletting. They had a hit off of that album entitled Joey. I first heard the song on the way home one morning after a night of my usual heavy partying. Details of said behavior are irrelevant, or maybe just not necessary. I was in a dark place. I drank, and drank heavily, and drank all night. Alcohol was not my only escape route, but again all of the facts may be unnecessary. For me it was the beginning of a slow climb up from the abyss. One that I am grateful for today and believe it or nor our wake-up calls come in many forms. For me this time, it was the song Joey.

   I am a hopeless romantic. I am a voracious reader, lover of music, and cinema and any form of self expression and often times find myself in a song, I see myself in a movie character, or I see myself in the tortured soul of some artists. I understand the angst, the pain and the need to self express. As a child for some reason I felt misunderstood, or maybe I was unable to make myself understood. Maybe people did not misunderstand, maybe I misrepresented myself. As an adult I turned to self medication to stifle the need to be heard, to be understood, to be seen and found relevant. It did not work. It only seemed to dampen any creative process I may have had. It alienated those around me and to this day many people I knew then look at me in that same light, unable to see me as I see me. I digress.

   Concrete Blonde is an alternative rock band, dedicated to their art and dedicated to serving their close following and not selling out to a wider audience. The lead singer has a powerful voice and persona that lends itself to their genre and to their songs. Joey is about an alcoholic and in an interview, Johnette Napolitano, the lead singer and writer of Joey, gives a hint as to who the song is about, but that is doubted by some, and quite frankly to fans like me does not matter. I saw myself clearly in the lyrics. I saw a hopeless drunk loved by someone who was possibly an enabler. I had people like that in my life.

   The haunting lyrics describe the relationship between a drunk and the closest person to them. It allowed me to see myself where I was and what I had become and to let me see what others saw. I made it out of the gutter, I rose up form the pit and call me silly, call me maudlin, accuse me of deflecting, whatever. All I know is from that moment of clarity brought about by a song not intended for me, or about me, I was redeemed. I encourage you to listen to Concrete Blonde. Listen to Joey and maybe you will see yourself in the lyrics as the singer, or the one the song is about. Either way I am sure you will find some value in their music, not just this song. I did, and I still do as I start over, over 50.