Due to recent changes in my life I have embarked on a journey of introspection. Not some metaphysical spiritual journey, but a simple self examination of where I see myself and where I want to see myself. As a result of this I have begun to seriously change my way of thinking, my outlook on life and how I view my role in its direction. The important part of this idea is the "my role" part. My role is the only one that matters. No one else has or had a role in my journey, or my current destination. My reactions to and my treatment of others may have been a deciding factor, but no one else has any ownership in it but me.

  One of the many things I am discovering is how I view my circumstance and how I view what I want that to be. I used to hope that things would get better. I used to hope that someone would love me, that I would win the lottery, or that I would be successful. Hope was an integral part of my way of thinking and a big part of my daily affirmations that intentionally, or not, were a constant mantra of my thoughts. That has changed now. I abandon hope. I disregard hope and no longer hope for anything. Do not get me wrong. I am not giving up nor am I in a deep well of depression from which there is no exit.

   Instead I have adopted faith over hope. I have faith in how my life will unfold. I walk through the day with the faith of a zealot sure that even in death they will live forever. You see, I have come to realize that hope is just a wish, a dream, nebulous and ethereal in its nature and holding no promise or obligation, to its creator (he who hopes) to manifest those things he believes in. Faith is the sure knowledge of something. The belief that no matter what, the things you want and desire can be manifested by the sheer belief that they will be. Faith the is sword that conquers foes and the shield and that protects a heart.

  I believe that hope can be a thief. Robbing one of the surety that the knowledge you possess is useless against the inexorable tidal forces of circumstances bent on diverting you from your chosen path. Hope is only the dream of a promise that may be and not the sure knowledge of what will be. When Dante described his entry into hell the last line of the inscription above the gate was "Abandon all hope ye who enter here". That is good advice. Abandon hope and cling tenaciously to faith. As Jim Carrey said in a recent college commencement address "Hope drives through the fire, faith leaps over it." Faith gives you the strength to conquer, hope gives you a dream of what might happen.

  Don't get me wrong. I am certain hope has a place. There are bound to be parts of our journey where hope has relevance. For me, right now, faith is what I choose. I have faith in myself and I have faith in what is yet to be. Why? Because I firmly believe that it will be. That's right, I believe it will be. I believe that what I want and desire will manifest itself and I know from the knowledge of past experience that I can manifest those those desires into reality. Dr. Phil always proclaims that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. While he may be right on a psychological level I do not believe it applies to our ability to alter our path. I am walking in faith. I have faith in the fact that I am the master of my own ship and I guide it to its final port. Walk in faith with me today. Be strong in your beliefs and sure in the knowledge that you will prevail. I am taking that walk today and everyday as I start over, over 50.